One Hundred Strokes
by Caroline Michelle
Summary: My one and only silly fic. Wufei eavesdrops on Heero and Duo. Probably not what you're thinking....


This was written for the 1x2ML's April fic contest. The topic was 'sounds kinky but isn't.' And this is the idea that just popped into my head. ^_^ 

100 Strokes by Caroline  
Rating: depends... PG-13, NC-17 if you're Wufei   
Pairing: 3x4 mentioned, 1x2 for Wufei   
Warnings: silliness, and I pick on poor Wufei...   
Spoilers: none   
Comments: either here or to chibirei@hotmail.com  
Disclaimers: Nope, don't own it.

      
      
100 Strokes  
----------------------

    Wufei was bored. They'd been stuck in the same safehouse for a week, and he'd already read everything he could get his hands on in the small house. They were so far out in the country they didn't even have television to amuse themselves. He'd gone digging in his room and had found a deck of cards. Thinking he could win some money off his fellow pilots, he'd gone looking for them.  
    He'd stopped by Quatre and Trowa's room first, but the sounds emanating from within had made him pause. He had felt slightly faint as he realized that the two had obviously found their own cure for the boredom. Trying not to picture what was going on inside, he hurried down the hall to Heero's and Duo's room. At least he knew nothing would be going on in _there_. Heero and Duo had never expressed any interest in each other, other than friendship.   
    He raised his hand, about to knock, when he heard voices inside.   
     "It's hopeless, Hee-chan. Look at it. It's all limp and lifeless!"   
     "And what do you want me to do about it?" said Heero in that nasally voice of his.   
     "I want you to get your ass over here and help me, Yuy," the American wined.   
    Wufei's eyes widened. Masaka. Not them _too_!  
    He heard Heero heave a long, suffering sigh. "Why do I have to help you with this, baka?"   
     "Because it's your fault. You used the last of the strawberry gel."   
    Wufei felt faint.   
     "You _told_ me to use it. You said it would help me get mine under control."   
    Duo snorted. "That was some pretty potent stuff. It _should_ have helped you control it, but I guess yours is just too wild for it, ne?"   
    There was silence for a long moment. Wufei knew he should leave, eavesdropping was not honourable. However, morbid curiosity held him in place.   
    He heard a rustling sound he couldn't quite identify before Heero said, "Damn. You're right. It _is_ limp. I can't get it to stay up."   
     "Ow! Stop that! What're you trying to do? Rip it from my body?"   
     "It's dull too. Did you even clean it?"   
     "Of _course_ I cleaned it. What do you take me for, an idiot? Wait. Don't answer that."   
     "I have an idea."   
     "What?" Wufei heard Duo ask warily.   
     "I got this trick from Relena. She said giving it one hundred strokes should put some life into it."   
     "What the hell were you doing with Relena when she gave you this trick?"   
     "I'd rather not talk about it. The memory is still too painful."   
    Duo giggled, but it quickly turned into a moan as Heero began whatever it was he had in mind.   
     "Ooooh, Hee-chan. You have about a thousand years to stop doing that."   
     "You like that, do you?"   
     "Mmmmm…"  
    Wufei felt his heart pounding in his chest. His pants suddenly felt too tight.   
     "Heero," Duo mewed pitifully, "what… what number are you on?"   
     "Forty-two."   
     "You're right." Duo was practically purring. "There's definitely more life to it now."   
    Again, the two inside were silent for several moments before Duo almost yelped in pain. "Youch! Not too fast, Hee-chan. Nice and slow. That's it."   
     "I think you are enjoying this way too much," Heero said softly.   
     "You know what this does to me, Heero," Duo replied throatily. "What number are you on now?"   
     "Sixty-nine."   
    Wufei almost fell over. From the other side of the door he could hear Heero count softly to himself as he finished his… strokes. Wufei gulped, imagining the Japanese man slowly and sensuously stroking the beautiful American's… he couldn't even think of the words without feeling light headed.   
     "Ninety-eight, ninety-nine, one hundred."   
     "Heero," the long-haired pilot whined. "Do you really have to stop."   
     "It's not limp any more. Let's see if it'll stay up this time." Again, Wufei heard the somewhat familiar rustling sound, followed by a loud _snap_.  
     "YES! Heero! Oh GOD thank you!"   
    Duo's exclamation was too much for the Chinese pilot. Images of the violet-eyed boy writing in ecstasy beneath Heero's hand overloaded his brain. Blood started gushing from his nose, and the abrupt blood loss caused him to faint. 

      
      
    Duo looked up from his glomp on Heero as he heard a loud thud right outside their door. Grabbing his braid to make sure it wasn't going to fall out of the band Heero had just tied on the end, he quickly walked to the door. Opening it, he found Wufei sprawled unconscious in a pool of his own blood.   
     "Wu-bear! Heero, is he ok?"   
    The Wing pilot bent down next to his fallen comrade and checked his pulse. "He just fainted. Help me move him to his room."   
    Together the two boys placed Wufei in his bed and left him to get a good night's rest. Returning to their own room, Duo once again glomped his partner.   
     "Thanks for helping me in my time of need, Hee-chan."   
     "Hn. Remember to pick up some more of that hair gel when we go into town. And next time you have a limp hair crisis, remember, one hundred strokes with a hair brush should bring it back to life."   
     "I will! Thank you for brushing my hair for me. And I still want to hear how you learned that from Relena," Duo said, smirking and wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.   
     "Duo! Omae o korosu!" 

_~Owari_


End file.
